Arbitrary, Incidental, and Accidental Musings...

Okay, that's not fair. You don't have to be trapped on the highway to enjoy Roy's. Unfortunately though, that seems to be about the only place you can find them outside of Manhattan these days. Roy's offers the trifecta of burgers, fried chicken, and roast beef. If you're lucky, you may even be able to get it without the heat lamp. And really, that's what Roy's is about. It's about the Fixin's Bar. It's about the Horsey Sauce. It's about the fresh things that you can't get at a rest stop. So, you know what? I'm going to do this review as if I didn't eat it at a rest stop and ate at a Roy's restaurant instead. Fair enough? Good.

What to order: The burgers are decent, but nothing out of the ordinary. The fried chicken is better, but I would still prefer KFC or Popeye's to Roy's. Where Roy's starts to get better is in their chicken fingers and chicken nuggets. Why? As Rachel put it, "it's real chicken". You know what? She's right. And it also has a small (and I mean small) amount of spice to it. I believe it's called "black pepper". Moving up the line, Roy's has some great fries for a fast food restaurant. They are thicker cut than most, aren't breaded with some extra crap, and are salted and fried very well. Add the fact that they can be served in a holster and you have something special. I mean, who wouldn't want to eat their food out of a holster? Hey Alton, I got another equation for you: Holster + Food = Good.

However, I think the real story with Roy Rogers lies in the roast beef sandwich. Not a mere Arby's piece of crap, Roy's serves an unbelievably processed yet delicious sandwich that can't possibly be remotely good for you. Especially since when mixed with mayo it forms a perfect consistency that has to be tasted to be understood.

The bad: I have had nothing but some of the worst service experiences at Roy's. I also think their Fixin's Bar is one of the most unsanitary things I've ever seen. Doesn't stop me from eating there, however.

The bottom line: I have a special place in my heart for Roy's although I usually end up disappointed when I'm done. I think it's because it's a treat to eat there because it is so rare that I find one these days. Most of the ones I grew up on were converted into McDonald's or Wendy's. Well, that and the fact that it always ends up being rest stop quality. :-(

Wow. I haven't had German food in a long time. Perhaps it's because I have traumatic childhood memories of certain German restaurants, but more likely it's the fact that there really aren't a ton of German restaurants anywhere near me. So I suppose it's fitting that I had to travel to Virginia to have an authentic German meal in a place where no one had even the slightest hint of a German accent.

Wait, I know what you're thinking. Diet over already Jim? That was quick. Actually, no. I'm allowed to eat out every once in a while and I'm even able to splurge if I want. Zum Rheingarten would end up being the perfect place to do this as their portion sizes were what I would consider reasonable without going far over the top.

Zum Rheingarten is tucked away off of US 1 in a two-story house that seats about 15 tables and a small bar. The atmosphere is like being at your Grandmother's house (if your Grandmother is German) with a nice roaring fire that ended up being a nice contrast to the 31 degree weather outside. The meal started well as the multi-grain bread served with roasted tomato butter was excellent. Add either a Spaten Optimator, hefeweizen, or Warsteiner (served in 10, 16, or 36 oz. glasses) to the mix and you can get off to the races rather quickly.

What to order: I started with the cured salmon and potato pancakes. This was served with a horseradish cream sauce with dill, scallions, and tomatoes. You could tell immediately that they were trying to bribe me with grease and with my 16 oz. Warsteiner in hand (sorry to disappoint you folks, I'm on a diet, remember?), I was going to let the bribery continue unabated. This was an excellent appetizer and I will be remembering the taste for a while. The pancakes had a latke style taste to it and all the elements gelled together nicely. However, I would suggest using the cream sauce only with the pancakes as the salmon can easily get overwhelmed by the horseradish. My brother had the cream of asparagus soup which he thought was good, but not creamy enough, and his wife and Rachel split the cheese plate which they enjoyed. Unfortunately, they forgot Rachel's salad and didn't notice it until they brought the check. Oh well, at least they noticed it at all. The staff in general was very nice and polite, but also looked very overwhelmed.

For dinner, it was all about the schnitzel (isn't it always on this blog?). Rachel had the straight up Weinerschnitzel (served with lightly fried potatoes) while I went for the more complex Rahmschnitzel (brandy cream sauce with mushrooms, served with spaetzle and seasonal vegetables. Both were excellent and some of the best I've ever had.

For dessert, they offer two different types of cheesecake and a couple different kinds of chocolate cake. All looked very good, but Rachel settled on the multi-layered mousse with a raspberry layer at the top. Very good and light.

The bad: The coffee was terrible. However, I hear that the flavored coffees with liquor are excellent. I may never know. Also, as I mentioned before, they forgot Rachel's salad. While the German costumes were cool, I felt a little let down that no one was wearing lederhosen.

The bottom line: If this is indicative of what I've been missing, I vote for more German restaurants in Connecticut. Perhaps we can get Governor Rell to promise that in a campaign speech for re-election. There's zoning laws for that sort of thing, right? If you're in the neighborhood, this place is delicious and definitely worth checking out.

When the sarcastic and oddly attractive woman behind the video store counter said, "There is nothing I can do to adequately prepare you for this movie.", I wasn't really sure what to make of it. Of course, this was between her making gay references towards myself and my brother. Jeez, can't a guy rent a movie with another guy without being asked if he wants a "date night combo"? What would she have done if I was renting... You know what? Never mind.

Anyway, when she said this, I was imagining that there would be a lot of disgusting food moments where the cooks were doing all sorts of horrendous things to people's dinners. Well, that did occur a couple of times in the movie, but that wasn't where the humor came from. (oh, and those moments were confirmed by my brother who used to work at one of these places. Thanks Dave, your comments are going to make me try a lot of new chain restaurants for my blog.) No, the truly funny moments came from the disgusting, juvenile, and absurd moments that remind me of the crap that I pull with (and to) my friends every day. Now that's humor. ...or at least we think it is.

The bottom line: If you like absurd, somewhat gross, and infantile humor (see: Parker, Trey and Stone, Matt), then you'll like this movie. Add a decent plot and a dash of social commentary and this movie lets you in on the 20-something service industry scene. However, if you thought There's Something About Mary was the funniest movie ever, rent Wedding Crashers instead.

When I first saw the commercials for this movie, I thought it may have potential, but was a generally stupid concept. That was before I realized Christopher Walken and Will Ferrel were in this movie. I love Christopher Walken. I even love it when people impersonate him. In fact, my friends and I have gotten to the point of doing our own Christopher Walken impressions on ski trips. Is he a great actor? Probably not. However, as his academy award in The Deer Hunter will attest, he is a very, very good one. His performance isn't tremendous in this movie, but it does the job.

Wedding Crashers is about two guys (Vaughn and Wilson) who go around crashing weddings (duh) to sleep with women. Wilson falls in love with one particular girl, they end up meeting her crazy family (headed by Walken), and hilarity ensues. I guess this is what passes for the 2005 version of the buddy movie.

The bottom line:Very good if you want a laugh. I thought the ending was silly, unrealistic, and came about too fast. However, if you're willing to believe everything else in the movie can happen, the ending won't surprise you. Plus, it's a absurd comedy to begin with. You have to cut it some slack. Worth a rent. However, I would definitely not put it in the company of "one of the funniest movies I've ever seen" as some people have told me. In fact, I want people to stop saying that phrase to me altogether. Why? Because people's sense of humor varies widely and this type of slapstick isn't really my favorite type of humor...

Wake up with the king! Okay, so maybe I just grabbed a kid's meal with the king on my way down to visit my brother in Virginia. He's a remarkably complex individual, actually. He enjoys opera and discussing Kant in addition to running on the field during football games. No, not my brother. The king.

Okay, so maybe you think those new commercials with the king are as lame as my intro. I disagree. I think they're rather interesting in a creepy and compelling sort of way. But, Burger King isn't about advertising (as their Super Bowl commercial this year proved), it's about serving up fast food that competes with McDonald's.

And compete it does. I know a lot of people would also disagree with that statement. They think that McDonald's is what fast food is about and that the fake grilling (better known as "flame broiling") at Burger King just isn't anywhere as good. However, I like Burger King burgers better because they taste more like, well um... burgers. They're not as good as Wendy's and I wouldn't even put them in the same sport as Fuddruckers, but they're better than McDonald's. Okay? Let's move on.

What to order: Anything with the word "Whopper" attached to it counts as a hearty meal in my book. Throw the words "double" and "cheese" in there and it's even better. The classic, breaded chicken sandwiches (in any flavor) are what I grew up on at BK. I think they still hold up today. Do I prefer a Croissanwich and tater tots to a Sausage McMuffin with egg and hash browns? No, but their breakfast isn't bad in it's own right. Did I mention they have onion rings? Hey, they're not real (they may not even be onion), but you don't see them much on fast food menus these days except maybe at Duchess.

Stay away from: The fries aren't great. Even worse and more greasy if you stick the word "chicken" in front of them. Just a bad idea all around. Their attempts at "angus" burgers, while not terrible, have kind of fallen flat as well.

The bottom line: It's Burger King. You've been there unless you've lived in India your entire life. It's not great, but it's a good change up from McDonald's every now and then. I don't ever purposely seek out BK, but every now and then, there is this craving that only a double Whopper with cheese can ever satisfy.